Chapter 1 of a new story-The Secret

 Families aren’t supposed to keep secrets, are they? At least that’s what I thought.

My name is Jason Tillman. At twenty-nine, I thought I had finally built the kind of quiet stability I’d always wanted. I have a great job developing software here in Pittsburgh, a beautiful three-bedroom house in a neighborhood we love, and my girlfriend, Jenna, to share it with. Life is good. Or, at least, it was. 

If you want to understand this story, which I still have trouble understanding myself,  I need to tell you a bit about my family.

I was born and raised in  Baltimore. My mom, Janet Tillman, raised me and my older sister Kayla, who was six years older than me, as a single mother. My father, who I won’t dignify by giving out his name, left for parts unknown with a female co-worker when I was two.

To this day, I have no desire to make any contact with him, not that he’s ever tried.

Mom worked her ass off to provide for us kids, taking up multiple shifts as a nurse at the local clinic. We weren’t rich, but we had a good life and each other.

I still remember that day when I was 12 and everything began to fall apart.

May 22, I can never forget that date no matter how hard I try. There was nothing but silence as I stepped up onto the porch.  Mom was rocking on the porch swing, her arms wrapped around her waist as she silently wept..

  “Mom, what’s wrong?” I said, a feeling of dread settling in my chest.

“Sit down, Jason.” Any time Mom said that, something not so good was about to follow.

  “It’s Kayla–she’s gone.”

What?  Did I just really hear that? I had given Kayla a hug this morning before heading to the bus. How could she be gone? It just wouldn’t register in my brain.

It was  just then  that I noticed that Kayla’s car was gone. She was usually home when I got off of school, since her job at a local restaurant didn’t start until 6.

“What do you mean gone?”  I asked as things started going into slow motion. Mom’s answer hit me with a feeling that I just can’t describe.

“She was in a car crash a couple of hours ago while she was going to her friend Allie’s house–she didn’t make it. ”

I thought that I was going to be physically ill, and almost fainted from the shock. Our neighbor Rich, who had come over after hearing what was going on, ran over to our house, put a steadying hand on me and helped me to a chair on the porch, and held a glass of water for Mom.

I was totally devastated. Kayla was not only my big sister, but one of my closest friends. She filled in when Mom had to work extra shifts,  fixing meals, helping me with homework, and attending school functions when Mom couldn’t. Our family seemed to be cursed.

We held Kayla’s funeral a week later. I really don’t know how I kept from losing my mind, but someone had to keep their cool. Friends and family gathered to help give Kayla the send off she deserved. The only thing that was missing was our Dad, but I would have had him thrown out if he showed up. 

With that, life attempted to return itself to normal, though it never really would be.

Chapter 12 Of Where Her Story Met Mine-The Conclusion

 I slept in until eleven the next morning, needing that long for the adrenaline to finally fade. When I checked my phone, a text from Sierra was already waiting: Had a great time! Hope we can do it again 😀

“Me 2 😀,”  I shot back.

Right then, I decided to throw caution to the wind. It was time to spill my heart out to her. Now, I just had to find the perfect moment.

That moment presented itself the following Tuesday.

“Hey, wanna hang out with me at the park across from my place?” Sierra asked as we navigated the crowded hallway between classes. “I go there to sketch sometimes. It’s a quiet place to just sit, talk, and admire this gorgeous weather.”

My heart did a sudden, violent flip against my ribs. This was it.

“Sure,” I replied, trying to sound completely casual. “Nothing else going on, and I don’t have any homework.”

I raced home, threw on a clean shirt, and flew back down the stairs. I nearly leveled my mom as she walked through the front door, fresh off a shift at work.

“See you later Mom, going to the park with Sierra!” I yelled over my shoulder.

I glanced back just in time to catch the look on her face. Wise. Knowing. Yeah, she definitely knew what was on my mind.

My hands were suddenly sweaty, and the casual cool I’d practiced for the past few days evaporated as I got on my bike and headed out.

When I got to the park, Sierra was already there, transferring to the bench, her wheelchair off to the side but close by. She pulled her sketchbook out, beginning to do a drawing of people passing by in the park.

          “Have a seat,” Sierra said while patting the bench seat.

I sat down, trying to steady my breathing.

“I’ve got something to show you,” she said, flipping past a few pages of charcoal landscapes until she hit a vibrant, colored-pencil piece. “I call it ‘wishful thinking’.”

I stared at the page, and the air completely left my lungs.

It was a drawing of us from the dance. Only this time, there was no wheelchair. It was just the two of us, on our feet, spinning beneath the canopy of lights. I looked from the paper to Sierra's face, my heart melting into a puddle in my chest.

We both started to talk at the same time.

“You go first,” Sierra smiled.

I took a deep breath, watching the world shrink down to just the two of us. “Sierra, these past few months have been the best times of my life. You are one of the strongest, most incredible people I’ve ever known. I really, really like you—maybe even love you. So... will you be my girlfriend? I just—I don't want to lose what we have, but I want it to be more."

Sierra got a massive grin on her face and reached out, squeezing my hand.

“What took you so long? I’ve been waiting for a month," she laughed, though her eyes suddenly grew serious. She gripped my fingers a little tighter. "But I need you to know something. Back in Miami, before the accident, I had a boyfriend. As soon as he found out I’d never walk again, he bailed. Called me 'damaged goods.' So listen to me: if I ever find out you’re asking me out of pity, I will drag your reputation so deep into the mud you’ll never dig it out.”

The fierceness in her voice caught me off guard. I looked at her, the playfulness draining from my face. Her heart had been broken by some jerk before, but that would not be repeated by me.

 "Sierra, I swear to you, pity has nothing to do with this. I'm here because of you, because of the way you make me feel when I’m around you.." I softened, giving her a small, mock salute to break the tension. "But understood, loud and clear." 

“Close your eyes, and I’ll give you your answer,” she said softly.

I closed my eyes, felt her hand cup my chin, and she pressed her lips to mine in a kiss that made fireworks go off behind my eyelids.

When she pulled back, I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. "So... I'm guessing that's a yes?"

"Smart guy," she teased, resting her head against my shoulder as we looked out over the park.

We spent the rest of our time just talking about what came next. We were most definitely going to schedule that dinner with our parents that we talked about a while back,  and I promised her that I’d ask my dad to build a ramp to our porch, widen some doorways, and put in some rails so that our visits would not be limited to her place, school, or outdoors.

“Sierra Duncan, you have just made me one happy guy.”

“Jimmy Patterson, you’ve made me one happy girl.”

The rest of the afternoon passed us by, and when it was time to go home, I escorted her down the path to her house, instead of letting her travel by herself.

When we got to her front door, I leaned down and kissed her again.

“I love you,” I said, running my hands through her hair.

“I love you too,” she said while taking my hand in hers and gently rubbing it.

And with that, the best day (so far) of our lives came to a close.

They say that high school romance never lasts.

I say never say never

Check back in in a few years.

Chapter 11 Of Where Her Story Met Mine

 Chapter 11

—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next two weeks went on as usual: school, friends, home. I prepared for the dance,  planning about what I could do to make it the night of Sierra’s life, and maybe after the music died down, I’d tell her how I felt about her.

The dance was on a Friday night. That day, during lunch, I asked if she was ready.

“I’m ready to roll, literally and figuratively. I’ve got a surprise for you I think you might like,” she winked.

“OK, thanks for the heads up. I can’t wait to see how things go.”

Homecoming started at 8:00 PM, and I got there a bit early, anxious to see what would happen at the dance.  I was chatting with Tom and his date Tara when Sierra wheeled into the gym. I saw what her surprise was.

 I was used to seeing her in jeans and a t-shirt, but for tonight,  she had on a very  attractive light  blue  dress, and her hair was tied back with a matching hair tie. 

The gym’s colored party lights caught the fabric of her dress, and suddenly the whole room faded away and it was just Sierra in the spotlight.   I had to make myself breathe again, and my throat went so dry, it took me a minute to speak.

“Sierra, you look great,” I said, smiling.

“Thanks, you clean up pretty good yourself,” she said, gesturing to my best dress shirt and pants.

“Thanks. I only break them out for special occasions.”

We stayed on the sidelines, then I had an idea.

“Hey, let’s dance…sort of.”

“OK, what’s the plan?”

When the next slow dance music came up,  I took the handles of her wheelchair, and pushed her in a slow circle. Sierra smiled,  Seeing her smile like that made the nerves completely vanish. For those few minutes, we were just two people sharing a slow dance; it was as if the wheelchair didn’t exist.

After that, we headed to the snack bar to get something to munch on.

“Thanks for that,” she said. “I didn’t think that I’d ever be involved in any form of dancing again.” The look of sheer happiness on her face made my heart speed up again.

“You’re welcome. It’s not fun being left out of things. Everyone deserves to have some fun.”

The rest of the evening went by like a flash, I don’t think either of us wanted it to end. 

I wanted it to be the beginning.

Chapter 10 Of Where Her Story Met Mine

  I could hardly contain my excitement as Saturday neared.  My feet were barely touching the ground as the countdown to 7:30 on Saturday night began. 

From Wednesday to Saturday afternoon, I was a nervous wreck. I practiced what I was going to say, went through four outfits before finding one that looked right for the occasion, and generally prepared for anything that could possibly happen or go wrong.

           That evening, I arrived at Carl’s maybe 10 minutes early and waited for Sierra to get there before getting a seat.  Right on cue, she wheeled in, and I asked if she wanted a table or booth and she said booth. We picked a booth toward the back where it was a little quieter, away from the main crowd.  Once we settled in,  Sierra angled her wheelchair at the booth, and effortlessly used her arms to transfer to the seat.

“Wow, that’s awesome,” I said, genuinely impressed. “Your coordination is out of this world. I don’t think I could have done it without falling.”

“Thanks, that was one of the first things I was taught in rehab. My arms were worked out so much, I could probably beat anyone in arm wrestling,” she laughed.

The sudden urge to kiss her right then and there flashed through my mind. Patience took over, and that would have to wait for another moment.

Our pizza came, a large with everything, and a pitcher of Coke. We settled in and took our time eating.

“To success on our project,” Sierra said, clinking her glass against mine.

“To success,” I toasted back. “Hopefully to the beginning of many more.”

“What do you have planned for the weekend?”  I asked.

“My sister Jackie  is coming in from Miami for a couple of days. She works as a paralegal in a law office there. She hasn’t been able to get time off from work to visit since we moved here, so it’ll be nice to see her,” she answered. “How about you?”

“Well, not much. I have a little bit of homework to do, but I just want to relax and recharge.That project just about wore me out, but we did it.”

“Another toast-to teamwork,” She clinked my glass again.

After saying hi to Sierra’s mom when she came to pick her up, I made my own way home, totally and completely fallen for Sierra.   It was tough thinking about anything else that weekend.

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Chapter 9 Of Where Her Story Met Mine

 

The next afternoon, I biked over to Sierra’s to start work on our project.  Any reason to see her was a good reason. My heart was racing, and not just because of pedaling my bike. 

With Sierra’s mom providing us with our usual tray of snacks and cans of Coke, we got down to working on our project, a report on The Hound of The Baskervilles. Sierra’s drawings of how she thought Sherlock Holmes, Watson, and the rest of the characters looked just blew my mind.

“Amazing work, Sierra,” I commended her. “These depictions look like they came right from the time the book was written.”

“Thanks,”  Sierra grinned. “With your analysis of  the book, we’ve got an A here.”

“Let’s hope so,” I replied. I set my notebook down, the room suddenly feeling a little quieter, except for the racing of my heart.

And then I did it again.

I reached across and took her hand, this time letting it last longer.

And once again, Sierra didn’t protest, just smiled, her blue eyes gleaming.

That evening, after I got home and wound down, I called Tom and told him about my afternoon with Sierra.

“It’s getting closer, Tommy, I can feel it. That look she gave me tells me that she’s thinking the same thing I am, so the only question is do I spill my heart out, tell her how I feel and ask her to be my girlfriend before or after the dance?  Things might go south if I ask before and she says no. Two weeks won’t kill me, so maybe I should just play it cool until then.”

“You definitely want to be sure that you’re both on the same wavelength,” Tom agreed. “I’ve got your back, if you need anyone to advocate to her on how much of a great guy you are.”

I kept those words in mind over the next couple of days. Before I knew it, Thursday arrived, and Sierra and I were standing in front of our English class presenting our project. As expected, we got an A. 

“A small celebration is in order.” I told Sierra as we congratulated each other on the success of our hard work.

“What do you have in mind?” she asked.

“How about pizza at Carl’s again, just us this time. How about Saturday?”

“So our pre-date date?” she laughed. “Deal. I’m going shopping with Mom that afternoon, but the evening should be free. How does 7:30 sound?”

“I’ll be there, just bring your appetite.”

Chapter 8 Of Where Her Story Met Mine

  My big chance came a week later.  I had totally forgotten that the Homecoming Dance was coming up, and I decided to ask Sierra to be my date.  I had two weeks to come up with a way to ask her, and my nerves went into panic mode. Every evening, I’d stand in front of my mirror, practicing how I’d try to sell my offer. Of course, I also went to Tom for advice.

“See, I told you, man, you got it bad for her. The best thing to do is just go and ask her. She can either say yes, and you have the time of your life, or she says no and you get on with life.”

          “You’re right, Tommy,” I admitted. “She might not want to go, seeing that she’s not able to dance. But on the other hand, she’s been up to hanging with me and the gang, so you never know. Like you said, the worst that can happen is she says no, and I can live with that,  but if I’m going down, I’m going down swinging.Ithink we’ve made an awesome connection, and if this works out, it could be more.”

“That’s the spirit, dude,” Tom said while patting my shoulder. “Speak from the heart, you can’t go wrong with that.”

And that is what I decided to do. After  two days of practice, Sierra and I had our usual lunch meetup. 

We discussed how things on the websites were going, and decided to partner on an upcoming project for English class.  We would meet up at her place tomorrow evening to begin work on it.

With sweat starting to pour, I took a deep breath while she was looking at a book and decided to go for broke. 

“Sierra, can I ask you something?” I said, steadying my nerves.

“Sure, what’s on your mind?”

“Ummm…the homecoming  dance is in a couple of weeks, and I’m asking if you’d be interested in going as my date.” 

I felt my nerves do a slow meltdown. This was the first moment of truth.

“Sure, I’d love to go,” She smiled. “Though obviously dancing would be out of the question.”  Sierra patted the armrest of her wheelchair.

“That’s OK, I’m not much of a dancer anyway,” I laughed. “It’ll just be a  fun time where we can hang out.”

“Sounds like a plan, it’s a date,” Sierra answered.

A date. I smiled inwardly.  Dude, you did it.

Chapter 7 Of Where Her Story Met Mine

 Monday came, and it was back to school. Sierra rolled into school between fifth  and  sixth periods. “How’d the doctor’s appointment go?” I asked, concerned.

“New doctor wanted to see if my spine was still stable, so I had to go get x-rays. Things are good, but man I got to look at them, and man, Jimmy, I didn’t fully realize how bad the accident left me.” She cringed slightly at the memory. “They had to put so much hardware in my back, if I had to get on a plane, every metal detector in the airport would go crazy.”

She laughed, but I could see that Sierra was shook up about seeing just what her injuries entailed. The lenses of her glasses began to fog up with the beginnings of tears. Her trying to keep strong and calm was starting to take a toll on her.

I wanted to tell her it was okay to let it all out, to just pull her into a hug, but the wave of students rushing to sixth  period kept pushing us forward. 

She was one tough girl. No wonder I was so attracted to her.

        "Anyway, on to better things," Sierra said, blinking back the tears. "The site is blowing up. I'm already getting commission offers for my art, and the forum is full of people sharing their own stories. I mean it, Jimmy—I never could have done this without your coding magic." 

“Anytime. I’m just glad the site is blowing up—and seriously, glad the appointment went well, even if those X-rays were a lot to take in.” 

“Seeing the damage is just a part of coming to terms with what I have to live with,” she said while maneuvering her wheelchair through the hall to our next classroom. “It could have been worse, the accident could have killed me.” 

My God, where do you get all this strength? I thought. 

“You’re incredible, Sierra. Seriously. Life threw up a massive roadblock, and you’re already figuring out how to roll right past it.” 

“Like I said, I come from a long line of stubborn women,” she winked.

“You won’t get any argument from me about that,” I said while walking to my next class. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

I went home after school with one thought in my mind: I was falling really hard for Sierra, and how could I tell her that without making an idiot of myself?

Chapter 6 Of Where Her Story Met Mine

  Arriving back home, I told my parents about my time at Sierra’s, minus the hand hold, watched TV for a bit, then went to my room and called Tom.

“Dude, sounds like you made a bit of headway there,” He said. “Taking her hand ‘accidentally’ with no complaints is a good sign in my book.”

“Yeah, I had an awesome time,” I said, probably beaming through the phone. “Her art is incredible, man. If those sites get any traction, she’s going to blow up. As for the hand-holding... I don't know. Maybe I'm just over-analyzing it."

If this is a dream, I don’t wanna wake up.

“Anyways, that’s my report. I’m wound up so much, I hope my heart doesn’t blow a gasket.”

“That’s my man,” Tom laughed. “You know I hate dressing up, so give me fair warning if I need to buy a suit to serve as your best man,” he said, almost sounding serious.

“So. are we still on for that round of Call Of Duty tomorrow night,” he asked, trying to change the subject.

“You  know it buddy,” I replied. “I need some distraction.”

Arriving back home, I told my parents about my time at Sierra’s, minus the hand hold, watched TV for a bit, then went to my room and called Tom.

“Dude, sounds like you made a bit of headway there,” he said. “Taking her hand ‘accidentally’ with no complaints is a good sign in my book.”

“Yeah, I had an awesome time,” I said, probably beaming through the phone. “Her art is incredible, man. If those sites get any traction, she’s going to blow up. As for the hand-holding... I don't know. Maybe I'm just over-analyzing it."

If this is a dream, I don’t wanna wake up.

“Anyways, that’s my report. I’m wound up so much, I hope my heart doesn’t blow a gasket.” If I was a betting man, I would bet that Tom could hear my footsteps as I paced across the floor.

“That’s my man,” Tom laughed. “You know I hate dressing up, so give me fair warning if I need to buy a suit to serve as your best man,” he said, almost sounding serious.

“So, are we still on for that round of Call of Duty tomorrow night?” he asked, trying to change the subject.

“You know it, buddy,” I replied. “I need some distraction.”

That night, I was totally exhausted in a good way, and I slept so soundly, I almost didn’t hear my alarm go off.

The next day was Saturday, so I had a whole weekend to think. Sierra was the only thing I could think of. Was she doing the same? Sometimes the things you don’t say speak louder than the words you say out loud.

My breakfast of pancakes and sausage was cooking, and while I was flipping my cakes, my phone buzzed. A text from Sierra:

Sierra: Hey good morning! What’s up?                                                                                                    Me: Waiting for breakfast to get done, how bout u?                                                                           Sierra: Same-Cya Monday gonna be late 2 school have a drs appt.                                                       Me: OK thanks for the heads up cya!

Later that afternoon, Tom and I hopped online for our gaming session. I actually managed to get my attention fixed on the screen, and until eight that night, we had a pretty good time—though he showed absolutely no mercy and gave me a good beating.

Tom stuck around Discord  for a couple more hours afterward. We tuned our TVs to the same program  and just hung out over the phone like all best friends should.  The rest of the weekend was nice and quiet, As I planned for the week ahead, I just  hoped that Sierra’s doctor appointment was going to go well.

Chapter 5 Of Where Her Story Met Mine

 “This is a pretty nice house you have here, and your room has a pretty sick setup,”  I remarked, looking around.

“Yeah, my parents got lucky," Sierra said, spinning her chair slightly to face me. "The previous owner’s wife used a wheelchair, too, so we scooped it up as fast as we could. Having the ramps and railing already here saved us a ton of remodeling.”

With the tour out of the way, we got down to business. Over the next three hours, Sierra's desk became a command station. We mapped out website designs, using graphics that she had designed herself, generated a chaotic amount of secure passwords, and launched dedicated Facebook and Twitter pages.

“Wow man, those passwords you’ve come up with are a bit too complicated for me to remember,” she laughed. Finally, she typed one in that made me pause:  CRASHED417. The date of her accident. What doesn’t kill you makes a heck of a good password, I thought. 

The best part, though, was helping her scan her artwork. Seeing her pieces pop up on the high-res screen made all the tedious tech setup entirely worth it.  The girl was definitely going places in the art world, if she kept it up.

The time passed like a flash. Taking a break from our final preparation to dig into those snacks, we sat back in our chairs and admired our creation. It was time to see if our work was going to pay off.

“It looks fantastic,” Sierra said through a mouthful of chips. “We’ll be getting hits in no time.”

“Let’s get this baby live,” I said, stretching my back.

Then it happened.

Both of our hands reached for the mouse at the exact same time to click  'Publish.' I let mine linger over hers for a split second. I could see a slight smile on her face. She wasn’t complaining.

After that awkward moment, we talked about everything except what just happened.

“I’m glad you invited me over,” I smiled. “I’d invite you over to my place sometime, but I don’t think you’d be able to make it past  the driveway, there are too many steps going to my porch.” Geez, why did I say that? I hope I didn’t blow it,  immediately ran through my mind.

Sierra just laughed it off, completely unfazed. “No problem,” she reassured me. “We can always hang out somewhere else. Plus, I’d love to meet your parents sometime. There are lots of public spaces, maybe dinner sometime?” 

“Sounds like a plan,” I grinned. “We can figure out when a good time would be.”

After a goodbye, I got on my bike and literally floated my way home, my heart was pounding so much I could hear it. I'd surprisingly made the first move, and now I couldn't wait to see what happened next. My excitement level was off the scale!

Chapter 4 Of When Her Story Met Mine

  The next afternoon, I was practically vibrating with anticipation.

“It’s nice that you’re helping that new girl out,” Mom told me as I packed my laptop into my backpack.

“Thanks, Mom. Sierra seems like a really cool person. After all she’s been through, it amazes me how level headed she is.”

As I pedaled toward her neighborhood, my mind was racing. I had to remind myself to slow down. Sierra might just see me as the tech guy, and the last thing I wanted to do was blurt out about how much I like her and make an idiot of myself. 

           Pulling up to Sierra’s house, I calmed my nerves, took a deep breath, parked my bike, walked up the wheelchair ramp,  and knocked on the door.

“Come on in, Jimmy,” Sierra’s mom said cheerfully, though she looked a little tired as she opened the door. “I’ll show you to Sierra’s room, she’s in there getting her desk cleared off.” She escorted me to the end of a long hallway, carrying a tray of snacks for us. “Her father and I are so grateful you’ve befriended her. She’s been through a lot the past three years, and it’s good to have a bit of stability in her life. I’ve been hearing non-stop about how you and your friends took her in so quickly. She’s been so happy these past few days.”

“You’re welcome,” I smiled. “It’s been great getting to know her and helping her get adjusted to a new school and introduce her to friends.”

Sierra’s mom directed me to a large room with a wide entrance. This was Sierra’s room.

“Hey, Jimmy, come on in!” she waved. 

Her room was painted in light blue, with posters and framed pieces of her artwork on the walls, and a bookcase at one end. Railing was installed around the walls, like  the other rooms I’d seen around the house, to help her get around. She was sitting in her wheelchair at a large desk that took up the whole corner of the room, getting her computer started.